FPU #2 Notes

Opens w/ graphic of a couple sitting down at a table together.

Welcome to “Relating with Money”

 1.  Money and Relationships.  After the first episode which was an overview and an emphasis on savings, the second episode focuses on PEOPLE.

Personal Finance is 80% behavior.  “Anything that effects behavior effects money.”

Repetition that the program works.

Correlation between quality marriage and success w/ money.

The flow of money represents the value system of that household.

2.  Make men are from mars / women are from venus generalizations.  men and women are different.  men want results, women value relationships.  women shop, men hunt and negotiate.  women talk, men talk less.  men discuss facts, women discuss feelings.

Differences are reflected in the emergency fund.  Women want the fund for risk, men want to use the fund to do something.

Doing a budget together and having an emergency fund will revolutionize your marriage.  Emphasis on increasing marriage quality.

Men lose self esteem in a financially troubled situation b/c money is a score card.

Women need 3-6 non sexual hugs a day in a financially trouble situation.  Hug you have in the middle of a storm.  Guy needs to be reassured he’s loved not for his money.  Women need to be reassured it will work out and the guy will stick around.

3.  Statistics around savings and divorce.  $10k in debt.  $10k in savings.

Learn to work together.  Opposites attract.  Differing roles that may have nothing to do w/ gender.  Savers and Spenders.  On time and late.  Nerds and free spirits.  Understand these will help you reach a unity in your marriage.  Belgian horse synergy example, 1+1=4.  Who should do financial decision making?  Both of you.  Both of you.  Both of you.

The nerd likes doing the budget.  The free spirit feels controlled.  The third tab is too much.  They aren’t necessarily the same as saver vs. spender.

Make the budget, nerd.  Then give it to the free spirit to change.

Rules for nerds.

  •   shutup at the meeting
  • 17 minutes… meeting can’t be too long.
  •  Insist the free spirit change some things on the budget.

Free spirit rules

  • come to the meeting
  • bring your brain
  • you can’t say “whatever you want to do honey”

4.  Singles and money (stats).  Single parents, 50% in poverty.

Singles have time poverty and fatigue.  Singles don’t have economies of scale.  Singles should beware of impulse buying even more.  Medicating your life with spending.  Makes your life worse.  Story about single mom who bought shoes whenever she had to drop kids off at ex’s place.  Singles spend money to eat out, to get out in the world and be around people.  Budget is important for accountability.  Married people have complaining spouses.  Accountability partner who is willing to hurt your feelings.  Discuss purchase and budget.

5.  Kids and Money (rachel cruz)

Awkward personal story.  She doesn’t bother to say hello or introduce herself, just launches into the story.  Super white perspective – “if you have a little girl, you know american girl dolls are like oxygen to them.”  Impact of American Girl catalogue on Rachel at age 6.  Go to flea market, negotiate.  She says she’ll do well and not b/c she’s Dave Ramsey’s daughter.  Even though the only reason she’s on the stage is b/c she’s Dave Ramsey’s daugther, and the only reason her husband manages a ton of Dave Ramsey’s properties is b/c he married Dave Ramsey’s daughter.  HMMMMMMmmmm.

Teaching your kids about money is your responsibility not the schools.  Bible quote about training kids.  Put your kids on commissions so they know money comes from work.  Words are powerful.  Teach by example.  Use a clear container for savings so they watch it fill up.

“too many rules is legalistic, but too much grace is enabling”

Teenagers get a checking account.  Recalled teenage check bouncing story.

Dave returns to wrap up the kid section.  Dave says he’s proud of his daughter.  Dave emphasized not having boomerang kids.  1/7 parents have a grown child living with them.  1/3 of men 22-34 live with parents.  Mother eagle builds a nest of thorns and plucks out the down over time.  Kids needs to be free.

6.  Wrap up

Next lesson is cash flow planning.  You will be doing things you’ve never done before according to biblical principals.  [One minute takeaway]


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